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TheTanker.Com Welcomes John Bertetto

Sing-Sing Welcomes it's Newest Resident...

Last night, December 13, 2003, that desert tyrant Saddam Hussein was captured. Elements of the 4th Infantry Division seized the former Iraqi ruler outside the town of Tikrit. He was hiding inside a tiny hole like the rat that he is.

Well, well, well. Flip on the lights and see how the roaches run. And there are a lot of roaches running, folks. Not long ago, the domestic roaches said that we would never find Saddam Hussein, that the war would drag on forever, with Saddam Houdini pulling the strings from some hidden lair. Oh yeah, he was in a hidden lair all right. And now that Hussein’s been captured, those same roaches are running circles, fastest with their mouths, trying to find another reason why what we are doing is wrong and that we’re failing at it to boot.

Well guess what, domestic roaches. We’re not buying it. You sold us that line once before about 40 years ago. We’ve learned our lesson since then, and we are not going to allow you to manipulate us like you did then. This war will not be the Vietnam that you are trying so desperately hard to turn it into. Prattle on all you want, but the simple fact of the matter is that we are winning this war. President Bush is right, and his persistence in this war is right. As Americans we expect our President to be strong and courageous. If you had any courage, you’d get on the television and admit you were wrong. But you won’t. You’ll just stand there like the talking heads that you are and spout the party line. The President of the United States should be a leader. Sorry, domestic roaches, but you just don’t fit the bill.

And look there, there scurry the international roaches. You want no part of solving the problem but are the first in line to get a piece of the solution. The search for Hussein continues, and its doom and gloom, the US is the bad guy, boo hoo hoo. But Saddam’s been captured, and its every international roach to a news conference. What a fantastic day! What a triumph for justice! Hooray! Hooray! When can we get a piece of the action? Pick a tooth, international roaches – that’s the one I’m knocking out of your two-faced mouths.

There are the Iraqi roaches, who despite the futility of their ongoing resistance will continue to try to keep themselves in the Stone Age. Listen up, domestic and international roaches – it’s a little hard to supply Baghdad with power and water when the Iraqi roaches keep blowing up the works.

And then there is the big roach himself, Mr. Saddam Hussein. Personally, I’d like nothing more than to grind you beneath the heel of my shoe, but I wouldn’t want to soil my footwear that badly. Three weapons and not a shot fired? You puss. And you’ll probably get the deal you came crawling out of that hole begging for, surrendering like a Frenchman. Fine by me – I hope they don’t execute you for international war crimes. Because nothing gives me greater delight than the thought of you in Pelican Bay, slinging hash as a trustee by day and biting your pillow by night.

Michael Farmer / TheTanker.Com E-Mail readermail@TheTanker.Com

"HEADSHOT" Featuring John Bertetto